সোমবার, ১ ফেব্রুয়ারী, ২০২১

Business and Finances Jokes

 

Business and Finances jokes,Business jokes, funny jokes,Funny Story,short story,

Business and Finances jokes

1

Husband: What do you mean, our financial situation is fluid?

Wife: We’re going down the drain.

2

Husband: The bank returned your check.

Wife: Good, now I can use it for something else.

3

Stan: Remember last year when I was broke and you helped me and I said I’d never forget you?

Fred: Yes, I remember.

Stan: Well, I’m broke again.

4

A little boy showed his father a ten-dollar bill he had found in the street. “Are you sure it was lost?” asked his father.

“Yes,” answered the boy. “I saw the man looking for it.” 422

If money grew on trees, where would you keep it?

In a branch bank.

5

Here’s a suggestion for parents who naturally become worried when their youngsters are away from home, either at camp or college, and neglect to write.

Send the child your usual letter and add this postscript: “Hope you can use the fifty dollars I am enclosing.”

6

A big-city counterfeiter thought the best place to pass off his phony eighteen-dollar bills would be in a small country town. So, he went off in search of one.

When he found a town that he thought might work, the counterfeiter entered a store and handed one of the bogus bills to the cashier. “Can I have change for this, please?” he asked.

The store clerk looked at the eighteen-dollar bill, then smiled and replied, “Sure, mister. Would you like two nines or three sixes?”

7

When you borrow money, borrow it from a pessimist. He won’t expect you to pay him back.

8

Joan and her neighbor were talking about their daughters. Rebekah said, “My daughter is at the university. She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her, we have to go to the dictionary.”

Her neighbor said, “You are so fortunate. Every time we hear from our daughter, we have to go to the bank.”

9

A woman who ran to the mall for a quick errand lost her purse, but an honest teenage boy returned it to her.

The woman looked inside her purse and remarked, “That’s really odd. Earlier I had a twenty-dollar bill inside, but now it’s gone. Instead, I see four fives.”

“Well,” the boy explained, “the last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have change for a reward.”

10

Tired of having to balance his wife Dot’s checkbook, Dave made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to get it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise.

The following night, after spending hours poring over the figures, Dot said, “There! I did it! I made it balance!”

Dave was impressed and came over to take a look.

“Let’s see… mortgage, seven hundred dollars; electricity, sixty-four dollars and twelve cents; telephone, thirty-eight dollars and seventy-three cents…” His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry.

“It says here ESP, six hundred and forty-four dollars. What is that?”

“Oh,” she said, “that means ‘Error Some Place.’”

11

A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale.

Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the spokesman replied, “Now, when you toss a coin, you can simply call ‘Teds’ or ‘Hales.’”

12

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

13

Where is the safest place to keep money in America?

The Outer Banks.

14

A teenager was telling her father all about her new friend.

“He sounds very nice,” said her father. “Does he have any money?”

 “You men are all alike,” she said. “He asked the same thing about you.”

15

“I see our neighbors have returned our grill,” the wife commented. “They’ve had it for eight months, and I was afraid that in their move, they’d take it with them by mistake.”

“That was our grill?” shouted her husband. “I just paid twenty dollars for it at their yard sale!”

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