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School Jokes - part 7

 

School jokes, classroom jokes, educational jokes, funny jokes, funny story

 Previous part - 6

School and Classroom Jokes - part 7

61

Playing hooky is like a credit card. Fun now, pay later.

62

Miss Evans addressed her third-grade class after recess: “Did anyone lose a dollar on the playground?”

“I did, Miss Evans,” said Rob. “A dollar bill fell out of my pocket.”

“But this was four quarters,” said Miss Evans.

“Hmm,” replied Rob. “It must have broken when it hit the ground.”

63

Laugh, and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone.

64

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

“In the English language,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”

65

How did you pass the entrance exam for candy-making school?

It was simple. I fudged it.

66

Jennifer: Are you in the top half of your class?

Laura: No, I’m one of the students who make the top half possible.

67

A man was visiting his Alma mater. He paused to admire the newly constructed Shakespeare Hall.

“It’s marvelous to see a building named for William Shakespeare,” he commented to the tour guide.

“Actually,” said the guide, “it’s named for Stephen Shakespeare. No relation.”

“Oh, was Stephen Shakespeare a writer, also?” the visitor asked.

“Well, yes,” said his guide. “He wrote the check for the construction bill of this hall.”

68

What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot.

69

What would life be like if there were no hypothetical questions?

70

Lizzie’s parents received a note from her first-grade teacher.

“Lizzie is a wonderful student,” the teacher wrote, “but when we have coloring projects, she draws everything in gray. Flowers, people, the sky, buildings, cars, grass—everything is gray. This is highly unusual for a first-grade student. Can you think of a possible explanation? I think it would be in her best interest for us to assist her in working through whatever problem she may have.”

That night, Lizzie’s parents sat down with her and asked her why everything she drew was in gray.

“Why have you chosen that as your special color?” they asked her.

“Well,” she began, “I didn’t want to tell you. But a couple of weeks ago I lost my new box of crayons. The only one I have left is the gray one I found in the pocket of my backpack.”

71

Dad: Why were you expelled from school?

Matt: I used a hose to fill up the swimming pool.

Dad: I didn’t know the school had a swimming pool.

Matt: Well, it does now!

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