শনিবার, ৩০ জানুয়ারী, ২০২১

Business Jokes - part 6

 

Business Jokes, funny jokes,Funny Story,
Previous Part 5

Business Jokes - part 6

51

The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. As he walked through the plant, he noticed a young man doing nothing but leaning against the wall. He walked up to the young man and said angrily, “How much do you make a week?”

“Three hundred bucks,” replied the young man.

Taking out his wallet, the owner counted out three hundred dollars, shoved it into the young man’s hands, and said, “Here is a week’s pay— now get out and don’t come back!”

Turning to one of the supervisors, the owner asked, “Just how long had that lazy kid been working here?”

“He doesn’t work here,” said the supervisor. “He was just here delivering our pizzas.”

52

The manager is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notes that the fellow has never worked in retail before.

“For a man with no experience,” he says, “you are certainly asking a high wage.”

“Well, sir,” the applicant replies, “the work is much more difficult when you don’t know what you’re doing.”

53

A veteran of World War II applied for a job at a bank. The impersonal interviewer continued to ask question after question, scribbling notes and never looking at the veteran.

“Most recent position?” asked the official.

“Supply officer,” replied the applicant.

“Duration of employment?”

“Three and a half years.”

“Reason for termination?”

The applicant stopped and thought for a moment, then answered, “We won.”

54

A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo.

When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoises.

Later, the zookeeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open. “Where are all the tortoises?” he demanded.

“I can’t believe it,” said the new employee. “I just opened the door and whooosh, they were gone!”

55

When his printing ink began to grow faint, a man called a local repair shop. The friendly salesperson who answered the phone said the printer would probably only need to be cleaned. Because the store charged fifty dollars for the cleaning, he advised the caller that he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying to clean the machine himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the caller asked, “I don’t think your boss would like that you’re discouraging business, would he?” “It’s actually my boss’s idea,” the employee admitted. “He says we usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix their equipment first.”

56

Burt had a problem with oversleeping and was always late for work. His boss threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Burt went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he

went to bed.

Burt slept incredibly well; in fact, he woke up before the alarm went off. He had a leisurely breakfast and a pleasant ride to work. “Boss,” he said, “that pill my doctor prescribed actually worked!” “That’s great,” said the boss, “but where were you yesterday?”

57

A guy walks into the human-resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet and sees that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

“I have to say,” says the executive, “your work history is awful. You’ve been terminated from every job.”

“Yes,” says the man.

“Well,” continues the executive, “there isn’t much positive about that!”

“Sure there is,” says the applicant. “I’m not a quitter!”

58

Betty was looking for a new RN position, as she was unhappy with her current job. She was certain she’d have no trouble finding a new position, due to the extent of the nursing shortage in her area.

She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Three weeks later, Betty was wondering why she had not received even one request for an interview.

Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that gave an answer to the dilemma. It read: “Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the wonderful fettuccine alfredo recipe.”

59

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I have a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please raise his hand.” Nine hands shot up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “It was too much trouble.”

60

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had leased a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting behind his desk, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, “May I help you?” “Sure,” the man said. “I’ve come to hook up your phone!”

 Next - Part 7

কোন মন্তব্য নেই:

একটি মন্তব্য পোস্ট করুন

Blog Archive