শুক্রবার, ২৯ জানুয়ারী, ২০২১

Business Jokes – part 5

 


Previous Part 4

Business Jokes – part 4

41

The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases ready to leave the plant and approached his new packer. “I see you did what I asked: stamped the top of each box, THIS SIDE UP, HANDLE WITH CARE.”

“Yes, sir,” the worker replied. “And just to make sure it arrives safely, I stamped it on the bottom, too.”

42

A manager got stuck in the elevator, between floors. After some banging, he finally attracted attention. His name was taken and rescue promised. It took two hours for the elevator mechanic to arrive and get the manager out. When he returned to his desk, he found this note from his efficient secretary: “The elevator people called and will be here in two hours.”

43

“I have just developed the most powerful acid compound known to mankind,” a scientist told her colleagues. “There is only one problem.” “What is that?” asked one.

“I can’t find a container for it,” she replied.

44

The manager of a glass and window company advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had twelve years of experience.

“Where have you worked as a glazier?” the manager asked. The man replied, “Krispy Kreme.”

45

The interviewer examined the job application, then turned to the prospective employee.

“I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start. However, I see you’ve written down AMAP for required salary. I don’t believe I’m aware of what that means.”

The applicant replied, “As Much As Possible!”

46

A politician asked a minister, “What is something the government can do to help the church?”

“Well,” the minister replied, “quit making one-dollar bills.” 47

There was a captain of a ship who carried around a mysterious black box. Despite repeated questions from his crew, he refused to tell anyone what was inside the box. Years went by, and the mystery of the box grew and grew. It was all the crew could talk about. What was in that mysterious black box?

One day a big storm quickly approached. The wind howled, and the ship was tossed on huge waves. Suddenly, a wave washed across the deck and swept the captain overboard. He disappeared from view and was never seen again.

As soon as the storm passed, a sailor went to the captain’s cabin and retrieved the box. The entire crew circled around as he opened it and removed the only contents, a small piece of paper.

On the paper was written, “Starboard is right, port is left.” 48

“I think I deserve a raise,” the man said to his boss. “You know there are three other companies after me.”

“Is that right?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you?”

“The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company.”

49

Two gas company servicemen were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman watched out her kitchen window as they checked her gas meter.

When they were finished checking the meter, the older of the two challenged his younger coworker to a race back to the truck. As they came running up to the truck, they realized a woman was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

In between breaths, she explained, “When I saw the two of you check my meter, then take off running, I figured I’d better run, too!”

50

An employee went to see his supervisor. “Boss,” he said, “we’re doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife asked me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re shorthanded,” the boss replied. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thank you,” said the employee. “I knew I could count on you!”

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